Are you comfortable with crying? I am not. It was suggested to me that I may want to get to the point of feeling comfortable with crying in front of people. I honestly don't think that other people are comfortable with someone crying in front of them, especially in public. Have you ever seen anyone crying in public and you just don't know what to do--should you talk to them or just keep walking. Here are some of my thoughts on crying: 1. I have been conditioned to not cry. 2. What good does crying do? 3. Is crying wallowing in your troubles? 4. If I cry, will people think that I'm really messed up?
1. I Have Been Conditioned To NOT Cry.
This is not a slam against my parents. I love them. This is just how it was growing up. It may have been a generational thing because I saw other parents like this also. So as I was growing up often my dad acted angry if I cried. As a child, I did not understand that. Now I know it's because he didn't know what to do to fix it so he just wanted the crying to stop. So, I learned to not cry or hold back my tears until I was alone. No one knew when I cried unless I was just unable to control them. Now I have always been very sensitive so, I cried alot. When I got married to Brandon, the first year was hard and I cried but he didn't understand tears either. He even accused me of using tears to manipulate him, so again I started hiding my tears. I know now that men are "fix it" people and they don't know how to fix tears. The funny thing is, women don't want to be fixed. All they have to do is give us a big long REAL hug. (And that may make us cry more but that's OK) Hiding tears is very hard to do in such an intimate relationship but as years went by I got better at it. I practiced things I wanted to talk about with him so that maybe I could talk about them without crying. This has taken a while to perfect and I still can't always do it. So, growing up and even in marriage I feel that I have been conditioned to NOT cry.
David in the Bible was a man after God's own heart and he cried. Psalms 6:6-7 I am weary with my sighing Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My eye has wasted away with grief; It has become old because of all my adversaries.
2. What Good Does Crying Do?
I have heard people say, "You just need to have a good cry." At times in my life I have asked why should I cry? It just makes my eyes puffy, my nose stop up and it gives me a headache. What good is it? I am still trying to answer that question for myself. I know that a good gut wrenching cry every now and then actually makes me feel better but then I feel silly about it. I'm working on that.
Here is what David says, "Depart from me, all you who do iniquity, For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication, The Lord receives my prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed; They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed." Psalms 6:8-10
David knew that God cared about his tears and saw his tears. God hears us when we cry. He created us and created tears. I know that if we don't outwardly cry, God still knows that we are hurting but maybe the act of crying out to God allows God to give the comfort we need because we are actually asking for it.
3. Is Crying Wallowing In Your Troubles?
It could be, if you just continue in it and don't trust God. One of my favorite verses is Psalms 30:5 The last part of it says, "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.
Psalms 30:10-12 Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me; O Lord, be my helper. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
This makes me think of the song It Is Well With My Soul.
4. If I Cry Will People Think That I am Really Messed Up?
Honestly, why would I care what people think of me if I cry. If everyone, including men were honest with themselves they would have to admit there are some things in life that we should cry about. I will list a few: a friend who doesn't know Jesus, a child who has been sexually abused, elderly parents losing their independents, close friends who are getting a divorce, a young girl who is pregnant and in an abusive relationship, a child who is now claiming to be an atheist. There are so many more hard and difficult things in this world and so many of us are not crying. I think maybe we should cry and cry out to God for His comfort, His wisdom, His strength and His understanding.
This is David again talking to God, "You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalms 56:8 It sounds as if God keeps account of our tears. So why hold back?
So Cry! And then,
Sing praises to God, sing praises. Sing praises to our King. Sing praises. For God is the King of all the earth, sing praises with a skillful psalm. Psalms 47:1-7